I'm not sure I understand the dating site "Coffee Meets Bagel", especially since the girl is termed coffee and the boy is bagel... ok, yes, I know, my 12-year-old brain is trying to kick in and figure it out physically (well you may dunk the bagel into the coffee... but really a bagel has a hole...damn it all to hell, I don't know. But I really think you'd want a donut, not a bagel with your coffee).
It's hard to keep the proper 'excitement' when you're attempting to date. You never want to get too excited about any one person. But you do have to keep a little sense of hope and expectation, or you may come across as the bitter cat-lady. You also don't want to go sharing with everyone about your dates, because if it doesn't work - you have to relive why it didn't work when they ask (because dating is somehow an interesting topic). But conversely, in having friends and sharing your life with those friends... if dating is what you are doing as part of your life, how do you not share that part? If I learned anything from last year, it's that to get to better more intimate friendships, you have to be willing to share about yourself - both the good and the bad. What it really comes down to is me talking a lot or me going MIA because I've out-talked myself (don't snicker, it DOES happen).
I'm back in what is known as the dating game - though it's not that fun, I think it should be called 2nd shift or life-part 2 or purgatory. It really is like another job. It seems you really can't do much else or then you risk seeming uninterested. And as much as I want a relationship, finding the energy and time to be interested in a stranger, can be hard to muster up.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've had more dates than I did maybe all of last year (ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, but the dates have felt a little easier to come by - I highly recommend Speed Dating). So much so that last week it was a 3-for-1 week. Which leaves my brain and emotions spinning a little. It always feels like you like someone more than they like you or someone likes you more than you like them. It's like 2 trapeze artists flying in 2 separate circus rings - it's bound to be a disaster when one person let's go and finds there isn't a partner on the other side to catch them
I thought I had a guy I was interested in seeing, turns out he did not feel the same way (though I do appreciate the honesty, but there is a slight pain when it comes to being rejected). And with others...I'm frustrated with the over-communication. Or with a guy who says he wants to date, but then never calls again. You really have to take it all with a grain of salt I suppose.
I've had date conversations about how I touch my hair a lot, or how touching my hair is a sign I'm sexually interested. I've been asked to go running on a date (I'm sorry, boob giggle?! f no). I've gone to a chain restaurant (and did not feel very well the next day...). But I've had guys patient with my travel schedule and me coming down with the flu. I haven't had a single one push a check at me and tell me "you got this". There hasn't been a guy who showed up smelling like he crawled out of the bar that morning, or one that just kept staring at me saying how attractive I was (I know, I sound like a jerk, but for someone to say it more than once throughout dinner, it becomes a little awkward - how much demurring can a girl do?).
Overall it's been good and awkward and tiring. And I was reminded by a dear friend tonight - you have to see it like the world is your oyster and there are a lot of options out there. If one doesn't work, move on to the next. He said you are attractive, you have a great job, and a lot to offer. Trust your gut, be honest with how you are feeling, and most of all have fun. (I'm sorry if I mixed up what you were saying MP!) One day this cup o' joe will find the perfect donut to dunk in her cup... wait... strike that, that doesn't sound right. Oh well, and by the way, I really like maple bars ;-).
UPDATE: I think I spoke way too soon on not having any awkward experiences, apparently people can hold it together for a few dates, and then go a little nutso later on. Dear lord, nothing about this process is easy. Maybe I should just give up and marry myself? (see story of 40-yr-old woman who married herself recently...)
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