My "To Do" List

I think I'm too young to be writing a bucket list, and I don't plan on kicking anything anytime soon. Rather, this is more of a list of things I want to do or places I want to see and haven't gotten to yet;-).

Cheri and Natalie - Winter 2011

• Go to South Africa and go on safari
• Live in Italy for a month
• Take a cruise on the Mediterranean
• Always spell vacuum correctly;-)
• Go to Austin, TX
• See the Olympic National Forest
• Perfect my chocolate chip cookie recipe
• See the beaches of Normandy
• Visit the battlefield at Gettysburg
• Go to an Olympic event
• Stay in an ice castle/ hotel
• See Coldplay in concert
• Explore Boston



Damien Rice - Fall 2009

• See a game in every MLB park
• Take more staycations
• Go to the Super Bowl
• See the Kentucky Derby
• Road trip in the Midwest/ southwest
• Watch all the movies I own and then purge them;-)
• See Damien Rice in concert every opportunity I get
• Read at least 1 classic novel a year (maybe something less depressing than Wuthering Heights)
• Go to Nome for the iditorod
• Visit the Statue of Liberty and go to the top of the Empire State building
• Find a speakeasy in every major US city I visit
• See live jazz in Memphis, Chicago (again), and New Orleans
• Learn to golf (thanks to my Jacq for the start!)
• Play a full 18- holes on my own
• Go to Jordan
• Waste less food - this is actually my 2012 resolution, preferably it would be waste no food but that may be a little unrealistic when last minute travel plans come in to place



Speakeasy in Chicago

• See a play in London 
• Go back to Paris - see the Musee national Picasso, the Catacombs, more of the Louvre, and the Musee de Orsay
• Watch all the Godfather movies
• Use a whole chicken - including the carcass for making chicken stock. This may be the most difficult, I hate chicken skin, bones, veins, tendons, etc etc etc
• Have an herb garden
• Actually be in Munich for Oktoberfest
• Learn to speak another language
• Decide which language I want to learn:-)
• Go to Norway for my grandma and take hundreds of pictures for her
• Learn to like NYC
• Trace my family lineage - is my last name really German?!



Paris 2010

• Find 1 good thing about Houston - no one has been able to tell me one yet!

And when I've found that one good thing about Houston, my life should be over by then, right?;-)

Gourmet?

I think I know why I'm not married...I would probably either kill or starve a husband.  I can't cook a simple dinner to save my life.  And I have no idea how to just 'throw' something together.

Tonight was my first night home with nothing to do in a long while.  I had some sea bass in the freezer, some frozen corn (which I'd boiled and saved from the spring), and I still had some potatoes. How hard could it be to broil the fish, microwave the corn and bake a potato?  Well, problem one - the potatoes were a little old... no biggie, I can just boil and mash'em, won't even notice!

So I put the still partially frozen fish in some blueberry vinaigrette, some lemon juice and garlic... ok yeah, like I said I don't know how things go together...into tin foil and put it under the broiler on high (then I decided it would be a good idea to find out how long to cook it by googling it).  I cut up the potatoes, threw them in the pot to boil and put the corn in a microwaveable container.  Man, I felt like it might all come together.  Ha!

I looked in the fridge - uh, no milk, oh, there's heavy cream... err, well, there WAS heavy cream, this was more like moldy cream.  While in there, I noticed the cheese had gotten completely covered (and I've cut off mold 2 or 3 times before), so out that went, then there were the strawberries from...who knows...and some Greek yogurt that was at least a couple weeks old.  Guess I should take the garbage out tonight (for the second time, since when I got home the old garbage was home to a pod of fruit flies)... oh did I mention that while cleaning up my living room I learned that beef jerky grows mold?  Yeah, totally gross.

Now that your mouth is watering, back to the food.  After 8 minutes, the fish wasn't close to done, so I put it in a different dish on top of some butter (like google said!), put some garlic powder and cayenne on it - yes, I'm sure these would all go together perfectly.  Google also told me what to substitute for milk in my mashed potatoes - sour cream (that was not expired).

Once the potatoes seemed sufficiently boiled, I drained them, added a stick of butter, sour cream, garlic, bacon bits (cuz bacon makes everything ok, right?).  Pulled out my hand mixer and went to town.  Who knew you could mess up mashed potatoes?!  At one point, I tried scooping the edges of the pot into them middle with my fork...got the fork caught, sprayed mashed potatoes (very thick and sticky potatoes I might add) all over my counter and when I cleaned it all back up, I finished mashing them, only to see that in the battle between fork and blender, the fork won... my beater is completely twisted. :(

I was so ready to throw in the towel at this point, but hunger won out.  I pulled the finally finished fish out of the oven, the warmed corn out of the microwave, and loaded up my plate.  All in all, it was edible.  I've definitely made worse (oh the burnt mac and cheese... bleh!).  But I guarantee, I won't be recreating this anytime soon.  I just kept think, the poor fish died for this?!

So, anyone out there interested giving lessons in cooking simply?

Single and Mingling

*Sigh*  I always love it when someone who has been in a relationship for more than a year gives dating advice.  "You find the person when you stop looking", "Don't date guys in bars", "It's creepy to meet a guy in the gym", and "Online dating, you could be meeting Ted Bundy".  I'm sorry, where should I meet guys?  Oh through friends?  Yes please, I love when a friend says they "know someone who would be 'perfect' for me" and he turns out to be rude and overbearing.  I'm sorry, what about me says I like rude, overbearing men?

I have to admit, I recently signed up for eHarmony.  My bestie and her mom were doing it, she invited me to join them for a 6-month membership... 1 date/ month.  What was there to lose?  My dignity?  I had a date with a guy tonight.  Very nice, good profile, easy to converse with, good job, established, yadda, yadda yadda.  And I couldn't help thinking to myself at the end of the date - what is wrong with him?  Why isn't he married by now? (ok, he is 10 yrs older than me)  And I realized, as I climbed into Meredith - what the f*ck is wrong with ME!?

I have been single for (almost) 2 years now.  And honestly, I have enjoyed EVERY minute of it.  I can't help feeling that where I am is wrong in other people's eyes.  Whenever you see someone after an absence the first thing they ask "are you seeing someone", or "23, you were old when you got married" (said to someone else... apparently, I should be put out to pasture!).  The best is hearing that my father thinks a girl should do certain things to get a guy... I'm sorry, but even my daddy doesn't believe I am good enough.  So, where does that leave lil' old me?

I'm here, and I'm queer... oh wait, no, I'm happy.  Happy with who I've become.  Happy with my beliefs.  Happy with how I love others and accept people for who they are.  Happy that I'm able to do what I want (travel, shop, eat, drink, be merry).  Happy that I have a great group of friends who accept me for who I am as a person.

So to all you married/ relationshiped up couples out there - don't be scared or jealous of your single friends.  Be happy for them in where they are in life.  Support them, and put your worry towards your own relationships... not our lack thereof.

Devil Worship

Not too long ago, a church leader in Seattle had a few choice words to say about yoga, calling it "demonic" and "a little bit of devil worship".  Makes me think this person hasn't actually gone to yoga.  A friend of mine turned me on to Bikram's (aka hot yoga) about a year or so ago, and since then, I've been making use of the Living Social and Groupon deals to try out different studios.  It's an hour-and-a-half in 120 degrees.  It's the same every class, repetitive, and the only speaking is telling you what to do next - not what to believe or think.  

It's also the only time of my day/ week/ month that I am quiet and still.  It's a time where I feel at peace and pray, meditate on God and practice what I learned in the Quaker church about silence and worship.  During the movements, I don't think about my day, the worries, the stresses or anything else other than breathing, balancing, and sweating :-) (and the only way I can describe the amount of sweat, is to say that I am as wet as if I just climbed out of a pool).  I feel amazing after and realize how much I need the down time in my life (as, even when I'm at home at night, I'm never fully relaxed or at peace - tv, friends, cleaning, and day-to-day life creep in).


Also, when I practice yoga, I feel at peace with me.  I'm okay with who I am, and I feel good when the session is complete.  I love the endorphins coursing through my body, making me feel alive and happy (and even, happy to be alive).  There aren't many times in my life where I've been okay with me.  As far back as I can remember, I was always self-conscious.  About wearing glasses, my height, my size, my teeth, my braces, my glasses, my personality, my lack of athletic ability, my posture, saying the wrong thing, becoming fat, my glasses, everything.  I have never been comfortable with who I am.  I've had the pressure (both actual and perceived) to be perfect.  And I hate that I fail, disappoint those around me, and it even drives me nuts that I'm not okay with me.

But yoga, yoga makes me feel good.  I know I can do it.  My first time, I made it through the entire session without sitting down.  And every time I do a back bend and realize I'm closer to where I should be, or I feel the pain while stretching my hamstrings, I feel like I'm accomplishing something good.  I like that the instructors tell you that some days you can do more than others, and that's okay.  Few other things energize and make me feel like that I actually like me (dancing is another of them, and while there are other moments where I'm okay with me, I'm always self-conscious of what I am doing or how I might be failing).

My therapist has been working with me a lot to start being okay with me, saying what I think/ want and not apologizing for it.  Telling me it is okay, and human, to fail.  To realize, it is okay not being perfect.  It's definitely a journey, but I've enjoyed the little "crumbs" of love I've felt today.  Reminders that life is okay, I don't have to beat myself up when I fail, and that I am loved.

I'll close with these (non-demonic) inspirations, from the Sweatbox's New Year's email:

Yoga is an opportunity-- this year, last year, next year, every day-- to accept ourselves for who we are. To view ourselves with compassion and kindness through our imperfections. When we practice our postures day after day, we practice acceptance of what we can give on that day. We practice letting go of judgment and criticism.


From Hannah's blog (what I feel is nothing compared to what her family has been going through lately, her strength amazes me):

Zephaniah 3:15-17 "...The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm... The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." 


And from this evening:

"It's not about perfect, it's about practice."