Potty Ponderings

I always find that I think a lot when I'm in the bathroom, who knows, maybe I'm just bored.  I've brought my cell phone in a few times to quell the boredom, but I also have a fear of things falling in the toilet - so that's not a frequent occurrence.

I've actually been afraid of things falling in the toilet for a long time.  In high school, I used to wear rings all the time, and I'd take them off every time I went to the bathroom to avoid them slipping off into the toilet.  You know, because apparently that's a pretty vigorous activity...  Nothing has fallen in to date.

But my falling in fear is just one of the many odd thoughts I have about using the bathroom.  I also hate talking to people - either before, during, or after.  I mean, really, I don't want you to associate me with anything that bathroom may offer.  And it's just awkward conversation! When does it start, when does it end, when do you acknowledge someone... who knows!  I remember we had a partner at Deloitte who loved to talk in the bathroom - and I just couldn't help but think - ummm am I going to make any CLM's???

It also reminds me of early high school, when my friend Karissa and I used to hide out and - gasp - EAT in there.  Yeah the popular girls in our 30 person high school weren't so nice - so we hung out in the bathroom and ate on the baby-changing-counter.  Gross, huh?  I also sang to her... we were awkwardly close admitting that now... urgh.  Good thing I'm not a germ-a-phob, just a bathroom-a-phob.  In the same high school, we also had a teacher who wanted people to talk while she was in there.  Yup - that's what happens at small private schools - you know way too much.

Totally grossed out or should I continue?  I've also had interesting bathroom conversations with co-workers in Europe.  That may have been the funniest conversation ever.  I mean really, Western European toilets have 2 buttons.  One big, one little.  And there is always a toilet brush - in every stall!  Yup, we talked about that - I was never sure - big for most common or big?  Apparently big.  And the toilet brush - I guess they are a self-service country.  But the director we were with continued with his experience at Procter and Gamble's TP division.  How they studied who used more toilet paper (men or women), and the fact that the US TP is pretty thin, and the doors in the stalls in the US - may as well not be there - there's no privacy!  So naturally, I think about this man every time I can see through the cracks :).

I also find that other people's break time habits have made me reel a little - boys, there is definitely no party inside...there are people both brushing their teeth and pumping milk while in stall.  So I guess my phobia of bathrooms isn't unfounded, I just think we all need our own little space... guess I'm glad I didn't live in Roman times!

I guess really, my fear comes mostly from the Santa Clause toilet seat cover that my grandma made long ago.  On the front side of this felt toilet decoration, it's Santa, arms wide saying "ho ho ho", and you may think you know where I'm going - and yes, on the reverse side it's Santa with his hands over his eyes saying "oh oh oh", but the worst thing about it, Santa is PEEKING!  I have never gotten over the fear that Santa is watching me... guess he does know everything...

Well I think I've officially made sure you always have things to ponder while you're... indisposed to do anything else :).  Until next time... don't forget your privacy strips! :)