New Decade = Hope, right?

2010 arrived with, well, let's just say, some people are glad they get to write off the New Year's Eve choices as "bad '09" ones, rather than carrying them into the new year.  But it definitely came in with a bang and a big sigh of relief.  The last decade is FINALLY over.  It was an interesting one, and probably the first decade I really have full recollection of in my 27 years (I graduated high school in 2001, college in 2005, started my career at Deloitte the same year, bought and sold a house (2006 and 2008, respectively), and "landed" with my feet in the air at Alaska).  


I mean, 10 years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed I'd ever want to "write a blog" to "share my feelings" with the world, let alone post "status updates" multiple times a week.  But here I am, doing just that! (and most know from my fb addiction that sometimes, multiple times daily is more accurate - sorry for the SOX reference 
;-))


I've made my resolutions - and stayed far away from the typical "lose weight/ eat healthier", I figure those are always on my mind.  My real "goals" are to take dance lessons and keep a budget.  So far so good, but we're only 6 days in.

Really, so far in this decade, all I have felt is cynicism... Sunday evening I watched "Under the Tuscan Sun", a movie I absolutely love!!  It gives me such warm, happy feelings, it just feels so real...that is to say, until the end when it all wraps up like a Christmas present.  Now, I wouldn't feel so skeptical of it, if it just ended when Francis finds she has everything she wished for, just not in the way she imagined, that seems right, pleasing, normal even.  It reminds me that usually what we want may be right in front of our eyes, but we don't see it because it may not be in the way we imagined it.  That is real life.


Instead, the movie finishes up, with this gorgeous man entering the picture,it  all becomes uber-romantic and fairy-tale like...and it angers me.  Couldn't her life have been just as happy and fulfilling when she realized she had everything she'd wished for?  Not to mention, romance like that just doesn't exist.  No man is backpacking around in search of me.  And if they were, I might call them crazy!  But it really made me think... do I even believe in romance?  


The conclusion I came to was, no, I don't.  Oh it may seem that way at the beginning of the relationship, the "wooing" period, but after that it's just forced shows of affection to placate us girls (a date here, flowers there, doing the dishes... but never of its own accord, we tend to have to whine and b*tch a bunch first, maybe even cry that we don't know if our man really loves us or not because he never shows us).  I don't believe that there is someone out there looking for me, and the whole "true love" concept?  Well, I one time thought I found that person, the "one"... but that fairy tale ended and maybe I've used up that one?  The romance certainly went the way of the dinosaurs.


Or maybe, I'm just feeling lonely.  Almost all my close girlfriends are in serious relationships, and here I am, in Seattle, fighting to even make friends, let alone find a guy who actually tries to see me (more than the "hey what's up" texts... ;-)).  Maybe that should be my resolution, just accepting that I'm single and move past caring to find that certain someone?  Learning to be happy being just me.  At least at any rate, I'll know how to dance and be able to afford my own flowers and dinners!  No b*tching or moaning needed (plus, I'm even nice and do the dishes for myself without even so much as a "please Natalie!")