It's just me...

Yoga pants and high heels

2012-01-03T22:21:00.000-08:00

Yup, that was what I ended up wearing home after yoga tonight because I forgot my flip flops. And as you can guess, I along with the rest of the world have started strong on my New Years resolutions. They are (drum-roll please):

Workout more - at least once a week, I've been THAT bad lately (and that doesn't mean I get to average it out ;))
Volunteer - I was thinking since I'm kind of a people person, it should involve that - maybe at an assisted living home?
Waste less food - and at least compost it (my apartment complex finally has a compost bin!)

As I was driving home, thinking about how we all make resolutions, and most are lucky to make it through the first quarter of the year. Maybe there is a reason for that, and it's not that most of us are lazy or quitters - but that this time of year has a lot less distractions so we find something else to focus on. Football season is winding down, no one likes the NBA, baseball doesn't start for a few months, and the holidays are over. Also, for those of us in the Northwest, the sun isn't out, so there isn't the pressure to have to take advantage of every minute of sunshine. In fact, working out in a dark yoga room for 90 min is better than being in our cars or at home in the dark.

Maybe we have a need to feel busy and purposeful (plus, no one wants to spend a ton of money and a few dance or yoga classes are cheaper than eating out or Christmas shopping). And I actually didn't come to any conclusions on whether this was a good or bad thing! It was either, we all need to take a break and take this winter time to relax, not feel like we have to go go go. Or else, it's that this time should be taken advantage of to form some good habits, try new things, and even if only 1% of it sticks, isn't that better than we were the year before?

So whether you decide to make resolutions, decide to just give your all in everything, or take this winter to re-energize, may this new year bring you happiness and joy - even if that comes in a pair of heels and yoga pants :).

My "To Do" List

2011-11-21T19:59:00.001-08:00

I think I'm too young to be writing a bucket list, and I don't plan on kicking anything anytime soon. Rather, this is more of a list of things I want to do or places I want to see and haven't gotten to yet;-).

Cheri and Natalie - Winter 2011

Go to South Africa and go on safari
Live in Italy for a month
Take a cruise on the Mediterranean
Always spell vacuum correctly;-)
Go to Austin, TX
See the Olympic National Forest
Perfect my chocolate chip cookie recipe
See the beaches of Normandy
Visit the battlefield at Gettysburg
Go to an Olympic event
Stay in an ice castle/ hotel
See Coldplay in concert
Explore Boston

Damien Rice - Fall 2009

See a game in every MLB park
Take more staycations
Go to the Super Bowl
See the Kentucky Derby
Road trip in the Midwest/ southwest
Watch all the movies I own and then purge them;-)
See Damien Rice in concert every opportunity I get
Read at least 1 classic novel a year (maybe something less depressing than Wuthering Heights)
Go to Nome for the iditorod
Visit the Statue of Liberty and go to the top of the Empire State building
Find a speakeasy in every major US city I visit
See live jazz in Memphis, Chicago (again), and New Orleans
Learn to golf (thanks to my Jacq for the start!)
Play a full 18- holes on my own
Go to Jordan
Waste less food - this is actually my 2012 resolution, preferably it would be waste no food but that may be a little unrealistic when last minute travel plans come in to place

Speakeasy in Chicago

See a play in London
Go back to Paris - see the Musee national Picasso, the Catacombs, more of the Louvre, and the Musee de Orsay
Watch all the Godfather movies
Use a whole chicken - including the carcass for making chicken stock. This may be the most difficult, I hate chicken skin, bones, veins, tendons, etc etc etc
Have an herb garden
Actually be in Munich for Oktoberfest
Learn to speak another language
Decide which language I want to learn:-)
Go to Norway for my grandma and take hundreds of pictures for her
Learn to like NYC
Trace my family lineage - is my last name really German?!

Paris 2010

Find 1 good thing about Houston - no one has been able to tell me one yet!

And when I've found that one good thing about Houston, my life should be over by then, right?;-)

Gourmet?

2011-08-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

I think I know why I'm not married...I would probably either kill or starve a husband. I can't cook a simple dinner to save my life. And I have no idea how to just 'throw' something together.

Tonight was my first night home with nothing to do in a long while. I had some sea bass in the freezer, some frozen corn (which I'd boiled and saved from the spring), and I still had some potatoes. How hard could it be to broil the fish, microwave the corn and bake a potato? Well, problem one - the potatoes were a little old... no biggie, I can just boil and mash'em, won't even notice!

So I put the still partially frozen fish in some blueberry vinaigrette, some lemon juice and garlic... ok yeah, like I said I don't know how things go together...into tin foil and put it under the broiler on high (then I decided it would be a good idea to find out how long to cook it by googling it). I cut up the potatoes, threw them in the pot to boil and put the corn in a microwaveable container. Man, I felt like it might all come together. Ha!

I looked in the fridge - uh, no milk, oh, there's heavy cream... err, well, there WAS heavy cream, this was more like moldy cream. While in there, I noticed the cheese had gotten completely covered (and I've cut off mold 2 or 3 times before), so out that went, then there were the strawberries from...who knows...and some Greek yogurt that was at least a couple weeks old. Guess I should take the garbage out tonight (for the second time, since when I got home the old garbage was home to a pod of fruit flies)... oh did I mention that while cleaning up my living room I learned that beef jerky grows mold? Yeah, totally gross.

Now that your mouth is watering, back to the food. After 8 minutes, the fish wasn't close to done, so I put it in a different dish on top of some butter (like google said!), put some garlic powder and cayenne on it - yes, I'm sure these would all go together perfectly. Google also told me what to substitute for milk in my mashed potatoes - sour cream (that was not expired).

Once the potatoes seemed sufficiently boiled, I drained them, added a stick of butter, sour cream, garlic, bacon bits (cuz bacon makes everything ok, right?). Pulled out my hand mixer and went to town. Who knew you could mess up mashed potatoes?! At one point, I tried scooping the edges of the pot into them middle with my fork...got the fork caught, sprayed mashed potatoes (very thick and sticky potatoes I might add) all over my counter and when I cleaned it all back up, I finished mashing them, only to see that in the battle between fork and blender, the fork won... my beater is completely twisted. :(

I was so ready to throw in the towel at this point, but hunger won out. I pulled the finally finished fish out of the oven, the warmed corn out of the microwave, and loaded up my plate. All in all, it was edible. I've definitely made worse (oh the burnt mac and cheese... bleh!). But I guarantee, I won't be recreating this anytime soon. I just kept think, the poor fish died for this?!

So, anyone out there interested giving lessons in cooking simply?

Single and Mingling

2011-04-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

*Sigh* I always love it when someone who has been in a relationship for more than a year gives dating advice. "You find the person when you stop looking", "Don't date guys in bars", "It's creepy to meet a guy in the gym", and "Online dating, you could be meeting Ted Bundy". I'm sorry, where should I meet guys? Oh through friends? Yes please, I love when a friend says they "know someone who would be 'perfect' for me" and he turns out to be rude and overbearing. I'm sorry, what about me says I like rude, overbearing men?

I have to admit, I recently signed up for eHarmony. My bestie and her mom were doing it, she invited me to join them for a 6-month membership... 1 date/ month. What was there to lose? My dignity? I had a date with a guy tonight. Very nice, good profile, easy to converse with, good job, established, yadda, yadda yadda. And I couldn't help thinking to myself at the end of the date - what is wrong with him? Why isn't he married by now? (ok, he is 10 yrs older than me) And I realized, as I climbed into Meredith - what the f*ck is wrong with ME!?

I have been single for (almost) 2 years now. And honestly, I have enjoyed EVERY minute of it. I can't help feeling that where I am is wrong in other people's eyes. Whenever you see someone after an absence the first thing they ask "are you seeing someone", or "23, you were old when you got married" (said to someone else... apparently, I should be put out to pasture!). The best is hearing that my father thinks a girl should do certain things to get a guy... I'm sorry, but even my daddy doesn't believe I am good enough. So, where does that leave lil' old me?

I'm here, and I'm queer... oh wait, no, I'm happy. Happy with who I've become. Happy with my beliefs. Happy with how I love others and accept people for who they are. Happy that I'm able to do what I want (travel, shop, eat, drink, be merry). Happy that I have a great group of friends who accept me for who I am as a person.

So to all you married/ relationshiped up couples out there - don't be scared or jealous of your single friends. Be happy for them in where they are in life. Support them, and put your worry towards your own relationships... not our lack thereof.

Devil Worship

2011-01-04T21:56:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago, a church leader in Seattle had a few choice words to say about yoga, calling it "demonic" and "a little bit of devil worship". Makes me think this person hasn't actually gone to yoga. A friend of mine turned me on to Bikram's (aka hot yoga) about a year or so ago, and since then, I've been making use of the Living Social and Groupon deals to try out different studios. It's an hour-and-a-half in 120 degrees. It's the same every class, repetitive, and the only speaking is telling you what to do next - not what to believe or think.

It's also the only time of my day/ week/ month that I am quiet and still. It's a time where I feel at peace and pray, meditate on God and practice what I learned in the Quaker church about silence and worship. During the movements, I don't think about my day, the worries, the stresses or anything else other than breathing, balancing, and sweating :-) (and the only way I can describe the amount of sweat, is to say that I am as wet as if I just climbed out of a pool). I feel amazing after and realize how much I need the down time in my life (as, even when I'm at home at night, I'm never fully relaxed or at peace - tv, friends, cleaning, and day-to-day life creep in).

Also, when I practice yoga, I feel at peace with me. I'm okay with who I am, and I feel good when the session is complete. I love the endorphins coursing through my body, making me feel alive and happy (and even, happy to be alive). There aren't many times in my life where I've been okay with me. As far back as I can remember, I was always self-conscious. About wearing glasses, my height, my size, my teeth, my braces, my glasses, my personality, my lack of athletic ability, my posture, saying the wrong thing, becoming fat, my glasses, everything. I have never been comfortable with who I am. I've had the pressure (both actual and perceived) to be perfect. And I hate that I fail, disappoint those around me, and it even drives me nuts that I'm not okay with me.

But yoga, yoga makes me feel good. I know I can do it. My first time, I made it through the entire session without sitting down. And every time I do a back bend and realize I'm closer to where I should be, or I feel the pain while stretching my hamstrings, I feel like I'm accomplishing something good. I like that the instructors tell you that some days you can do more than others, and that's okay. Few other things energize and make me feel like that I actually like me (dancing is another of them, and while there are other moments where I'm okay with me, I'm always self-conscious of what I am doing or how I might be failing).

My therapist has been working with me a lot to start being okay with me, saying what I think/ want and not apologizing for it. Telling me it is okay, and human, to fail. To realize, it is okay not being perfect. It's definitely a journey, but I've enjoyed the little "crumbs" of love I've felt today. Reminders that life is okay, I don't have to beat myself up when I fail, and that I am loved.

I'll close with these (non-demonic) inspirations, from the Sweatbox's New Year's email:

Yoga is an opportunity-- this year, last year, next year, every day-- to accept ourselves for who we are. To view ourselves with compassion and kindness through our imperfections. When we practice our postures day after day, we practice acceptance of what we can give on that day. We practice letting go of judgment and criticism.

From Hannah's blog (what I feel is nothing compared to what her family has been going through lately, her strength amazes me):

Zephaniah 3:15-17 "...The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm... The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

And from this evening:

"It's not about perfect, it's about practice."

Beaver one, Beaver all...

2010-10-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight, as I was driving on the dreaded Seattle-Portland slog, I finished my audiobook and was forced to be alone with my thoughts. This drive always brings that out - miles and miles of solitude. I've avoided it for a long time, never knowing what my brain would conjure up.

Tonight my thoughts turned to the conversation I'd had with Jackie earlier, about my strong defense over my Beavers. There are only 2 things that will do that to me, my family and my Beavers. Make fun of or question my alligiance to either, particularly when first meeting me, and you will have removed yourself from me further than the grand canyon is wide. Even now I can feel my defenses going up, my heart rate rising, my bristles coming out. I'm like a momma bear who is growling at the person who looked at my cub wrong.

I began to think that this was slightly unnatural. I mean, I didn't go to Oregon State, why do I get so defensive? I thought about how far back my memories go...all the way back to when I was an ugly little girl (and I say that mostly because what I remember people telling me about is how funny I looked in my big glasses...like it was something I could control at the age of 3, but I digress). I remember playing on the basketball court with my cousin, sitting at the football games being entertained by the helmet races on the screen, collecting bottles after the games, having dinner with the family, traveling to bowl games. And as I was driving and thinking, it clicked.

My team is the only true connection I have to my family. The only part of me left that I share with them, the only honest part of me they see. I can't share the rest of me, so this is the only thing left. The only thing we have in common, what we talk about on the phone, the only reason I come back for more than holidays. It's sad really, but I suppose it's true. And I guess the real reason I get so defensive, is because it seems like people are trying to sever that last thread, cutting me off from my family completely. The last piece holding me off from becoming an orphan...

So the next time I seem to get overly Beaver crazy, part is because of my loyalty, but the other part is because I still want some connection to my parents, I guess I'm not ready to give up that last thread of hope that I have a family that I can feel a part of...

Life Expected

2010-09-20T23:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes your day is boring and dull, sometimes, it's just fully unexciting. And then, there are those days when it is great. But there are those OTHER times where your day, your night, your weekend are amazing.

I had that recently. I was bored with life. It was dissatisfying, I was unhappy....depressed. And then on Thursday night I had dinner with my friend. A friend who you wouldn't ever give up on, no matter what happened. A friend who reminds you that it takes work to be a friend and to keep a friend. Man, was dinner with my wife on Thursday awesome. And then, I got to repeat it all again on Friday.

Friday...Lynsey and I met up at a wine bar in Post Alley, we were flying solo because of sick or boyfriend sick friends...never mind that, we were together. Chatting, drinking wine flights, having chocolate and a grand ole time. One more drink we decided, at a fantastic bar called White Horse... and that one more drink kicked our lil' asses right into the Post... where we bemused, befuddled and bewildered all those Nebraskan boys. There was nothing but giggles and kisses on our end.

And you could have said my good day ended then...with me waking up the next morning 45 min AFTER my flight had departed. But somehow, it didn't. The fun times were still rolling along... right with Oregon State beating Louisville (and of course, I think of Elizabethtown every time I say that word, because there are SO many versions of it). After a little Qdoba with the fam, I headed back north, listening to my book on tape the whole time.... at Gervais I stopped to change into my "going out" attire... skinny cargoes and a hot top... the heels would join my feet later.

Saturday night in Portland was great... it was different from Seattle... not quite as busy and hot to trot, but great all the same. And with Jodie and her friends, we inevitably ended up at Kells, just like any great night would. Kells provided cigar bars, Celtic bands and Guinness. Along with drunk couples, sweaty girls and dancing the Irish gig. Me and my 9" heels finally joined in and had a fantastic time dancing the gig joined with 10 other drunk, happy, pretend-Irishmen.

The night ended, and we all went our separate ways... no one too drunk, but no one too sober either. I parked, found my bed and slept happily until 5:30am...when Meredith (my car) decided to let me know someone was touching her (you know, in that way in the courts when they give the doll to the child and ask "where did the bad man touch you" kinda way). I heard her, looked out the window, hoped it wasn't... and then heard her again - they were towing cars on the street I'd parked. Meredith was being violated, and she was letting the world know. On went the shorts and shirt, and out the door I went. Jiggles had nothing on me. I found the man hurting Mer and begged him to let me park her elsewhere... this man happened to be a friend from college... irony at 530 was more than I could deal w/...especially as the hot mess I had to be...

So Mer and I drove around, and finally found a space in the visitors lot far away...woke up to cheers from the "Race for the Cure" supporters...once showered and coherent, breakfast was had. Now you have to understand that Portland, Oregon has THE BEST breakfast places in the world. This morning the Veritable Quandary was chosen... and 7 of us gathered around the round table of King Arthur, I mean King Veritable, and had our various French Toast brioche, eggs benedict (with or without crab), or corned beef hash... along with VQ-8, Espresso or Champagne cocktails....and an incredibly healthy dose of laughter. Honestly, I haven't had that great a time laughing and communing with friends since God knows when. The day was capped off with a tour of the Saturday Market (including hilarious boxers and insanely intelligent art).

My weekend ended with a bang...I finished my Stephen King novel on the drive home. I mean...and really, that story ended with a bang of a finish. All I know is that fantastic weekends are still possible and I want more of them. I had drinks with Sofia tonight.....and then realized that the night was young enough to still have drinks with Lynsey. If that's not a great way to end a Monday, I don't know what is.

All I can say is that if my life may be boring and dull sometimes, it more than makes up for it when it is exhilarating and fantastical. I wouldn't trade it for the world, I just have to think that my poor future kids will get tired of hearing, "I remember when"...:)

Paris - the arrival (part 1)

2010-08-02T20:31:00.001-07:00

Well, it has been a crazy past month, but I'm starting to get the picture that my life is always like this. And it seems that the crazier it gets, the more stories I have to tell, and yet, the less I make it to a computer. So maybe a quick catch-up? (and I'm seeming to get internet from someone at my apartment, so hopefully the blogging bug will hit me more at home, and less in the car on the ride home)

Just over a month ago, I took a leap and left my job. Now don't get too worried (because some people did give me that look when I said I quit my job), I already had another one lined up. And so far, yeah, it has been a fantastic move.

My final 2 weeks at Alaska were literally a whirlwind! I interviewed on Wednesday, heard back that day that they liked me, got my offer, gave my acceptance and my resignation on Thursday - and left for Paris on Friday!

Paris was awesome - 4 days all to myself. Getting on the flight was hairier than a French armpit, but I made it. I watched enough movies both on the flight there and the flight back to practically make the ticket a moot point. I think I got 4 in both ways? (yeah, that is what I said) I beat that on the flight to Germany - 5. Either way, the screaming baby did not help me sleep and the ear plugs did no good. I landed safely in Paris (and let me say, I really think Lufthansa is the best international airline... Air France well, it was so-so. I felt like I was just in their way... no chocolate or refills. I had to get them on my own! Sock-footed and climbing over someone both ways).

I got off the plane and got my stamp to say I officially was in Paris. Wow, bouncing off the walls! I found the RER, bought tickets and was off to my little hotel (seriously, little).

I even successfully avoided the beggars looking to "help" tourists. How traveled am I? And when I got off the RER and exited the station, who should meet me, but Ms. Notre Dame herself. Wowza! Nothing beats that. Off I set, in what I thought was the right direction, but probably 10 blocks later, I stopped, asked for directions and was forced to walk the other way.

Sweaty, hungry and sleepy, I arrived at my hotel and promptly took a nap. Yes, I know, 4 days and I sleep?! But I needed it. When I awoke, well, the heavens could smell me, so I set off on my next adventure - the shower. Wow... if I wasn't in the shower, I would have say it would have been the funniest thing you've ever seen. It was smaller than most motor home's showers, and the plastic curtain was made to fit a full-size tub. The water... wouldn't stay the correct temperature and I left the door open so the breeze combined with heat emanating from the sometimes scalding water forced the curtain to stick to me. There was no place to put shampoo, conditioner, or soap near you, so you had to bend down - with shower curtain sticking. Umm, wonder if they ever clean those? And don't forget that the water has suddenly gone freezing cold so you must get it off as quickly as possible...ok, well, I finally finished. And thankfully stepped out of that death trap.

On to drying my hair... with a hair dryer that resembled a mini-vacuum cleaner. If my hair wasn't so short, it would have taken a year to dry. Plus, the nozzle got too hot to hold, so finishing the job was difficult. ;-).

Finally dressed and ready to go, I headed out. First stop, food. I think I passed 5 cafes before I was finally like, damn it, sit down! So I breezed into the next one, and the waiter promptly gave me a bathroom token and pointed. Perplexed, I started to head in that direction, only to stop, turn back and have him point me downstairs. Geez... lucky for the lady in the bathroom without the token, I didn't have to go. Up the stairs I went again, and told the guy (in pointing motions) I wanted a seat. Light bulb! Oh, stupid American, just sit anywhere (no, he didn't say that but I'm sure he thought it). My ability to order food was just about as pathetic. The menu was in French (duh) and so I opted for the easy option - I'll have the special (that way, I could point). Note to self - never ask for the special when you have no idea what it is. It was a strange fish mashed potato with a slice of something the size of a sardine on top. And when in Rome... I ate it all. Cutting the fish thing into 3 pieces, the first bite awful, the second bite caused and intense gag, and the third bite - well, I'm surprised I didn't throw up in that cafe right there! It was one of the worst meals I've eaten, so much for French food.

What will happen next? Will I lose my lunch and wish I'd saved that bathroom token? Will I retreat to my room for a nap? Do I even survive!?!

2010-05-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

Just hang loose,

Just have fun,

Sitting on the beach

Lying in the sun.

Don't try to fight it cause it ain't no use!

Cause when you're in Kauai

You just hang loose!

Ok, so that probably means nothing to anyone other than me or my family, but that's what I was thinking the plane ride over. Since the last time I was there was Christmas in... the 90s with all the Ditgen's. And my lovely aunt and uncle taught us lil' girls this song. And finally, almost 20 years later, I was headed there again. This time alone, for a much shorter time and thankfully without 11 inches of rain.

Friday afternoon I was like a kid waiting to go to Disneyland. I was ready for some sunshine and time away from work and normal life. I'd been convinced to rent a car (definitely recommended) and was loaned a guidebook that lead me to the beach you see above. A complimentary mai-tai, and I was good to go!

I arrived late Friday night...after getting my car and directions to my hotel, off I went...to the wrong hotel. I pulled up thinking, wow, this place actually looks pretty nice. And after a bit of a wait in line to check in, I get to the desk agent who promptly tells me that my hotel is another 8 miles down the road... fantastic! Ha, I finally get to my hotel (its around 8:40 by now), and felt like I'd walked into a completely different world... the Aston Kauai is not what you'd call "luxury", but it was clean and it would do.

I opted for the cheaper garden view, and noted a lovely patch of automobiles out my window. Huh, didn't know they were in season! But I was top floor and there were vaulted ceilings, so it redeemed itself slightly. Well, by the time I got changed and adjusted it was after 9. I guess Cinderella's coach turns into a pumpkin here at 9 and not 12. No food was served in the bar, and not much was open close by. My waiter kindly offered me a salad and I had a gin & tonic (very tropical, I know).

Saturday morning, I found a great cafe on my way to the Waimea Canyon and had a fantastic pancake at the Tip Top cafe. I left there (after being the lonely single person at a 4-top table) and drove out to the canyon.

It was a pretty great morning for it, slightly overcast, just warm enough. And the canyon was beautiful (but a little much when you only have a day in Kauai). I drove around, flipping through radio stations, trying not to bottom out my little Nissan Versa in the myriad of potholes, enjoying getting out at the few checkpoints and running into uber friendly Hawaiians (well, really just one lady).

And of course, since food is the most important part of a vacation, I HAD to get me some Shave Ice! After many insights into the "best spot", I took the Kauai guidebook's advice and headed to Jo-Jo's. What I ordered was a tad odd... not a big fan of chewy cubes or long stringy coconut pieces, but overall, it hit the spot.

On I drove, having to make a stop back at the hotel to grab the right credit card, more cash, and hopefully my camera (which again, I forgot, thus, all the pictures you see were taken by my iPhone, good thing it takes decent shots, right?).

All I wanted was a beach... so I drove north to get to one... I wasn't super thrilled with what I picked, but there was sand and water... so I stayed for awhile and then moved on to find the perfect, secluded beach (the pic at the top). MUCH better! And despite the steep trail, I made it down and back up injury free :)

And doesn't it always stand to reason that the moment you determine you're gonna just lay there on your hotel towel (yes, I snuck it out :) hehe) and you decide you don't want lines on your back... that someone decides to come talk to you?! So there you lay, top untied, and you know it won't be easy to retie it with someone watching, so instead, you lay there face-down hoping that you don't accidentally raise up too much and praying that the conversation with this nice gentleman does not last forever. Well, that is exactly what happened to me... but I DID glean great information - George Clooney was currently filming on the island... mmm :) How else can a tropical island get any better? Put 2 of former world's sexiest men alive on it (Johnny Depp was filming there as well)! Sadly, I did not run into anyone famous.

After sun bathing (and of course, you know that as soon as the dude walked away, I retied my top, I was not getting myself into THAT predicament again!), I went to my car to perform a quick change and headed to the Princeville Hotel.

I walked in, still trying to shake the last remnants of sand onto their super polished floor, and found a comfy chair to watch the sun slowly descend while sipping on a fantastic pineapple mojito. And I left just in time to see the sun set outside.

At this point, I'm at a cross-roads. I want to go see Hanalei, but its getting late, I need both dinner and gas (I'd wanted Costco gas, but well, people on the North Shore don't seem to venture south much and didn't know how late Costco was open...grrr). After some indecision, I decided to head back south - I was NOT going to miss having dinner 2 nights in a row, and it was 7 by the time I was leaving... yikes, I was going to be pushing it - AGAIN! I stopped at "home" to change, and oh yeah, my phone ran out of juice on my way back - awesome! So I let it charge for a whole 10 min before heading out the door to head to Duke's (what I had read was a good place for food). And after some circling around trying to figure out how to get there - the map and the iPhone were not super helpful since it was IN the hotel (the parking attendant was not helpful either). I was stressing a little getting there, it was getting closer to 9 when food seemed to magically disappear.

Sigh, I found it... and a seat at the bar between a couple dudes (imagine that). And I also found out where all the people around Kauai hide! I was beginning to think no one was even UP past 9! Of course, it turned into a later night than I wanted, but I had a great time.

The flight out the next day worked as well (even down to the part where I was given the window seat, and not the middle seat between 2 large people... sitting next to them ok, between, well, I'm not Wan, I don't like that "cozy" feeling). I wished I'd stayed 1 more day, and that I'd just laid on the beach all day Saturday, but there's always next time right? (plus, you get strange looks from people when you tell them you're just there for the day ;-))

Aloha!

Edward or Jacob?

2010-04-19T16:54:00.000-07:00

To begin with, I apologize for neglecting my blog. Work has become... nothing short of a pain, and staying around late to write a blog hasn't been top on my priority list (plus, the locations I've been working at blocked my blog... as something like "obscene/tasteless" ;-)).

And now, I've got something on my mind, and a little down time, so I guess I'll share. Plus, writing helps me process things (that and getting sufficient sleep). One way or another, people are going to be unhappy with my decision, but I gotta be me, right? I mean, if I'm not happy, I am definitely a pain in the ass to be around.

You're probably thinking, what the pho are you talking about Natalie? Get to it! Ok ok, so I've been debating my living situation. Portland is calling, and my heart flutters at the thought of it. But I've started to put down roots in Seattle, I have a great friend base and great coworkers, I like my living situation (ummm I love living downtown in the heart of all the action), and I haven't yet been pulled over for having Oregon plates, yet.

The best way I can describe my feelings, and thus the impossibly difficult decision, is to compare them to Twilight. I know, I'm a total Vamp dork, but analogies help my lil' logical mind wrap my head around the situation.

On one hand there's Portland - which is totally my Edward. Edward has my heart. I feel like I was ripped from his hands (not by choice but by circumstances "out" of my control), and when I'm around my family there or things are bad here, I think of him. And trust me, this is often. The pain has subsided (or at least been masked a little), and I don't cry every time I leave Portland, but still, I could if I let myself. And the other week, as I was sitting with my girlfriends at the Tegan & Sara concert, I felt truly at home and peaceful, I knew I belonged to Edward. Like we were meant for each other. Edward definitely makes me grow up a little, I feel like I will be settled with him. But am I ready to be settled?!?

And then there's Seattle - definitely Jacob :). Irresistible. Hard to turn down. Heated and dangerous (see the numerous girls night picts from fb). But on days like today, he's just a total brat (namely because of the j-o-b). Jacob's the fun one. The one I go out with late at night to tear up the town. The one who's encouraged me to get out, make friends, move on from Edward. He's been great. I've grown to love him. But I think he knows, he'll always play 2nd fiddle to Edward.

So, where does that leave me? I don't want to give Jacob up, but I desperately want to be with Edward. Can I have both? And if I have a baby, will Jacob fall for her?;-) Is it just cuz I've been in a place for 2 years and I'm antsy? Sigh, if only I knew the answer...I know, that's part of the journey and just a part of life. I'm kinda waiting for it to hit me across the head (and no wife, just cuz you hit me, does not mean I'll choose Jacob).

What it really comes down to is time. I'm not in a rush, and Portland won't be falling into the ocean like California will, so I should be good. At least, I hope Rocky's song isn't true... I guess that's what I've been thinking lately. I'll keep you posted. ~NattyJo

How to Meet Guys: 101

2010-03-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

A few months back, finding myself newly single and pondering the age old question - how does one go about meeting men? Of course, all taken friends have their suggestions, and some happen to be internet dating. And while I have no qualms against it, I'm not ready to admit defeat just yet. I'd like to think I still have it in me to find a guy in person.... So my options are limited, I haven't found a church I like, work - well, let's just say: "don't sh*t where you eat" should be followed, and the hobbies I like... not so sure I WANT to meet a guy who knits, scrapbooks, or is in love with Edward Cullen...;-).

Little did I know that by posing this question to the universe, that the universe would respond back with a smack-in-the-face of "this is how b*tch". Ok, well maybe it wasn't that forceful, but definitely, don't ask if you don't want an answer.

Now, I believe that things happen for a reason and I'm always open to meeting people and up for something new (obviously, or how else would I have met the lovely Mr. Dempsey!?, trust me, you meet no one in your hotel room, unless you're into the housekeeping ladies, which I, am not, instead you meet them in your hotel gym ;-P). Ok, let me put a caveat to that "open to meeting people" - I don't do blind dates/ set-ups. I am not up for these, no matter "how amazingly awesome" he is. If I must meet him, at least attempt the "nonchalant meeting", please, save me from the insanity of blind dates! (unless of course I get to have those little bubbles coming out with my thoughts!)

In the past 6 months, I have met guys in some normal and some of the most unconventional ways (which is which, well, I'll let you be the judge :) - like the taxi driver who gave me his personal number after dropping me off one night - umm creepy, he knows where I live and has me trapped in his sticky cab!). But thinking back, compared to other times in my life, the recent meetings aren't any more unusual than normal for me (such as rock climbing with Cheri, meeting a couple guys, and going to the Shanghai Tunnel (skipping in our gym clothes) for some stout and mac'n'cheese after...)

Case in point, I've both flirted with and gotten phone numbers while driving... though I think we only talked on the phone that once, I still remember him trying to communicate his number to me w/ his hands... only to realize that he kept leaving out the area code - which wasn't 503 as expected, but 360, dude, those 3 numbers are important! While most times, flirting with the guy (or sometimes just the car itself, haha), I've at least gotten a wave of acknowledgement and a coy smile :-).

There's the "standard" bar scene - which obviously hasn't lead to anything permanent, but has yielded some friends (namely those residing in Sin City). I did find the "you look bored" line amusing, especially when he asked if I was going to end up blogging about him, sorry dude, this is all ya get. I mean, what kind of people hang out in bars, seriously?;-)

I also enjoy meeting bartenders mostly cuz they can't get away from me;-) haha, j/k. But no, not really, I like that they have to talk to me...

Probably, the most amusing recently was the guy from the shuttle bus - ha! Just admitting that "out loud" makes me laugh. I mean, who seriously gives their number to a guy from a shuttle bus? Apparently "this girl" (points to self with thumbs). Even worse, after he'd taken my number (and I'd driven away), apparently it didn't save and he had to ask the MasterPark for my name (shame on you MasterPark for giving it out!) and he then proceeded to find me on LinkedIn. Gotta give the guy props for the follow-through (unlike the waiter at a restaurant who memorized my name from the receipt and looked me up on MySpace - claiming it was unusual so it was easy to remember... ask me for my number next time, stalker...).

There are the few guys I've met at concerts, which seems like a good place - instant common interest! But my luck there runs thin (anyone remember Texty!?), not to mention the guy I met at the Rocky Votolato concert the other night - this dude's friend's decided it would be amusing to pretend he was someone famous. Gotta admit, his one friend was fairly annoying about the whole thing...seriously, they went as far as to have people come up and take pics with him... I guess it takes all types, right? (so if you ever meet a guy by the name of Ian, he isn't, nor has he ever been famous... don't let him or his bored friends mess with you)

Who knows, I keep hoping my braveness (also interchangeable for stupidity) will lead me to the man of my "dreams", and if worst-comes-to-worst at least more amusing adventures :)!!

This Day is Out to Get Me!

2010-02-25T12:50:00.000-08:00

This is definitely one of those days that if I hadn't have been in SUCH a good mood, I would be pissy and cranky.

I woke up at 5:52 am - 8 min prior to my alarm going off - this is one of my LEAST favorite things, I value sleep and want to squeeze every minute of it like getting that last drop of juice from a grapefruit. But I know why I woke up - I was uncomfortably warm and needed water - thank you alcohol for the lovely dehydration you granted me! And as I laid there, I fought with myself - do I get up, read my Bible (gasp, I know) and workout or do I hit the snooze button. Getting up at this point would still leave me PLENTY of time and I'd probably be to work early as a result. Because normally, I like to snooze for exorbitant amount of time - 1 1/2 hrs some days. Well, the lazy side won - and snooze until 7:30 it was... hey, I didn't have a meeting until 9:30 - this was my tired self justifying my lazy a$$.

Either way, I'd decided what I wanted to wear - my white pants - it feels springy and happy and I knew I'd seen an idea of how to wear them on this fashion blog - awesomeness, you should check it out - http://www.frugal-fashionistas.com/. The outfit was modified to what I have, but still, I think it works? Confidence is definitely an accessory :) haha.

Coffee was next on my agenda - and of course I had to throw it out to coworkers, and got Beth's order in perfect time to add it to mine (a tall, 1 pump vanilla, whole milk, light caramel, caramel macchiato - this is a treat cuz some mornings, all I can get out is - tall vanilla latte). Sigh, happiness. Plus my ipod was playing some great music - oh wait, it's MY music... who needs pandora? :) - Sam's Town was giving me happy thoughts of the Killers concert, and I was rockin' out!

But as I was about to turn to work... I heard my phone - Wan texted how much she appreciated the offer... well, I couldn't leave her hanging and it wasn't quite 9 yet, plus, I justified, I needed breakfast and kleenex. So off I drove to the Safeway.

Donut holes, kleenex, some draino (for home, not Wan's coffee), bananas and coffee later... I was back in the car. Well, mistake - I had the drip coffee (thank the Lord it was only drip and not some sugary sweet/ milkiness) in the carrier by itself and on flipping a bitch.... it decided to flip one as well! Crap! Ok, put it upright... no napkins were available, so I rolled down the window and watched the coffee slosh :(. No worries, I'd get it at work - still smiling.

Got to work, cleaned my car (I think Meredith liked the coffee, some had sunk in already...), and got ready for the 9:30 meeting (including getting some donut holes, they were rolly polly little buggers and a couple escaped my grasp :(). It wasn't raining, so we walked :). The meeting ended early - woohoo! and I got to my desk in time for the Dbrief (cpe training on fraud, super fun!). And while I was listening, I decided to check mint (yes, I am addicted, LOVE IT!) - hmmm, what's this RC Railway in AZ?! And for $584 bucks!? Yikes! Well, turns out its a super nice hotel at the Grand Canyon - one that I did not visit.

A quick call to BofA - and withing 15 min, they were telling me they would credit my account, cancel the card and send me a new one! No disputing, no questioning... just believing me! Wow, gotta say, much appreciated!! Though this will have been the 2nd credit card number I've memorized and had to give up due to some fraud... :-(

And now I'm smiling to some new music (Train's - Hey, Soul Sister - it was amazon's mp3 deal of the day, so the CD was only $2.99!) and waiting for Jon & Gayle to bring me my Vietnamese chicken sandwich - yum! This day is not going to steal my joy! :)

Shane Co Away!

2010-02-23T11:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so maybe that title didn't work as well in writing as it did in my head, but it amused me enough to be retained as the blog heading.

I know we've ALL heard the Shane Co commercials on the radio, and can probably quote the ending line for line w/ the announcer (...Shane Co, off of Hwy 217 across from the Washington Square Mall, open weekdays til 8, Saturday and Sunday til 5, online at Shaneco.com...).
Yes, they are annoying, not to mention all the other jewelry ads we have to put up with - Fred Meyer, EE Robbins, and the dreaded Jared the Galleria of Jewelers (I'd rather let a carnivorous earwig eat my brain out).

They are usually just white noise and I don't like to station surf if I don't have to, so most of the time I put up with them. Though I have to say, after my breakup, I couldn't and would change the station immediately (come on, it was like salt in the wound, a carrot in front of my face that I could never have... mean!). But I got over that and it's been fine. Until last night...

I'm not sure what it was that caused me such pain, but it was like a stab in the back, a scab picked off that hadn't healed fully. The commercial was addressing the far distance to drive to Lynnwood, WA to get an engagement ring. And Mr. Tom Shane in his monotone drawl, was saying it was worth it for their direct diamond imports that save you money (don't you tell me you don't have a friend in the diamond business!).

And his last line was something like: "isn't your girlfriend worth the drive" and my first thought was no, I mean, really, to a certain someone, I wasn't even worth the diamond let alone the excessive drive to get one. I don't say this to be completely bitter, but he really did complain to me about the cost of a ring, many many times (its not the size or price that matters, its the meaning, right?). So I just have to say that stupid commercial just reopened the wound that said "I wasn't worth it"...and now, I will return to my boycotting of those wretched commercials and their unintended reminders of my worth or implied lack thereof.

The Dating Game...

2010-02-09T11:33:00.001-08:00

Well, I've been meaning to get this one out for awhile now (that's what she said? - Jason, you'll have to let me know if that was appropriate or not...it's feeling a little limp to me;-))...and be prepared, this guy was nice, but well, it's turned into something that Really Grinds My Gears... :)

Being as I've been single for going on 7 months now, and having a few dates here and there, but nothing to write home about (not that I would anyway...), I decided at the Phoenix concert, I would give out my number and try going on a date with a guy (I mean, really, if you don't try, you'll never know right?). I know, I was being brave, but little did I know what I would be getting myself into....

For purposes of anonymity, we'll call this guy Fred. Fred did the polite thing and gave me a call Sunday after the concert (I didn't answer, as I was with Jackie all day, plus, I have to admit, I am a phone screener, I hate talking on it, so why would I want to talk to a person I didn't know?! Unless I get to pretend to be a scary guy named Stewie who likes to pick up guys in my car...). There were probably a couple of red flags I should have heeded from the concert

he was there with a group of friends, and his ex-gf happened to be there as well, he had to hide that he was getting my number, I'd had a little alcohol, my senses were a little off, and
he asked if I gave him a fake, and then referenced that when he texted me later - not sure I've met too many confident guys who worry about that...).

I hate listening to/ returning phone calls, I avoid it like the plague, so it said something that this guy was willing to pursue since he texted me on Monday (or it says desperate, you be the judge). Now, I have to say, that I have been guilty of this before, and it always throws me back to "he's just not that into you"... but when you look through your chat screen, it should be about an 1 to 1 ratio, give or take a few. I mean, really, if you are going to have a chat conversation, make it that. If you want an answer to a question, let the person answer before asking the next question...but I digress...(and for all those non-iphone users out there, my messages are in green :))

I agreed to a date for that coming Friday night (and I wasn't happy to be giving up my Friday night to this guy, but no other night was available) - you can't tell about a person strictly from a text, I'd give him a shot. But as the week wore on, and I got worn out by the text conversation (I mean, it was like he was trying to get to know me via text, dude, wait for the date! I don't really wanna play 20 questions ALL FREAKING DAY!).
Friday came... and boy was I not looking forward to this date, I was beyond annoyed, and I'd made get out plans with Jackie. My poor coworkers had to hear about this, and I'm sure were amused at my antics (I'm sure this single girl provides lots of amusement, maybe its just my plight in life?). I asked where we were going, hoping to just meet up (I mean, who gets in a car w/ a stranger, I would *never* do something like that... haha, ok, that's a lie). So Fred asked:

Either way, the date went actually ok. He was a very nice guy, we had a nice dinner at the Icon Grill, and I was feeling ok to keep hanging out for a drink after, plus the half bottle of wine had me happy. I wrote off the mad texting to the "he was just nervous" category... and ok with the idea of date 2, but not willing to go out of my way to make it happen (should have been another flag to me, as I believe that you make time for what you want to do, no matter how busy you are... case in point, I'm hanging out w/ a friend tonight to watch Family Guy :), even though I already have plans M, Th, and F).

So I hadn't committed to any times/ dates, etc, as I really didn't know what I had going on, and didn't really want to fill up every night, plus I knew I had plans to eventually see Avatar with Wan, collect on drinks from my Fantasy Football win, and umm, relax like a normal person! :) Last week was much the same, so I wasn't quick on the response (and there was one night where I made it clear I was just getting home from work at 7, and wasn't feeling well, and he was like psycho crazy texter that night), and this past weekend I was out of town all weekend with K :) (see blog here).

I was beginning to realize his interest in me was a lot more than mine in him... he's looking for a serious relationship, whereas, I'm like seriously, do I want to be in a relationship?! Another case in point - his worry about my responding to texts...

I left my phone at work last night, eh, no biggie, I've figured out how to use the oven timer to wake me up in the morning, but let me tell you, trying to snooze that way isn't very fun... ;-)... this also means, I wasn't getting any messages, no biggie for most normal, secure people, right? I think the unread messages this morning might have pushed me over the edge...

And now, I'm not sure where to go... I really don't want a second date, but I kinda said yes before...how do I let him down? I've never been known to stick around for freebies... (or else I would have had some clothes from Brooke Burke...but that's another story), so putting up with this for a possible date next week seems out of the question. But I would really like this monkey off of my back... as I'm pretty sure I'm not interested, because in comparison, when I am, responding makes it's way to the top of my list, and I look forward to hearing back from that person. But Fred hasn't given me that chance, he's always 1st to text me, I like to feel like I have room to reciprocate the feelings. Ok, I've reached the end of my rant, suggestions are more than welcome!

What is the difference between 10:55 and 10:35?

2010-02-08T13:18:00.000-08:00

Ahh! After a looong week at work (and boy, do I mean long!) and fighting a yucky little cold, the weekend had FINALLY arrived. Friday night started it off right with a great concert at the Showbox SoDo with K. Jack’s Mannequin put on a great show, I love a band that is talented and (at least seemingly) humble. We called it an early night and agreed to meet up at 9:15 to head to the airport, for our 10:55 flight to Victoria.

The morning started out fairly productive for the both of us – I got a workout in, and K was able to get her coffee and breakfast (in retrospect, I should have skipped the workout and gone for the coffee first thing). We arrived at my work parking lot, braved running across International Blvd, and while waiting for the shuttle, I decided to make sure our flight looked ok – urh-oh! The flight was at 10:35! Yipes!! It was currently 9:40… ok, I thought, no biggie… you only have to be there 30 min prior to the flight to check in… we’d be ok.

We arrived at the airport, tried the kiosk… and gulp, it was too late (hmmm, lesson #1 you must check in 1 hr prior to departure on an international flights!!)! Ok, no biggie – I know how to circumvent this – list for the next flight and then have them switch us to the earlier flight when we get to the gate. Time waster #1 – the kiosk wouldn’t print our passes….so we went to the agent – she was able to get our tickets and we were back on track going through security.

Lesson #2 always check your gate, cuz regardless of how many times you fly, it’s always best to know where you’re going (and international flights leave out of a different part of the terminal). Time waster #2 - but we didn’t check, and I needed coffee, so I got some coffee and K got some magazines. We walked to the C gates and I realized, oh shit… the Victoria flight is usually out of the south satellite. So with full coffee in hand we booked it about as fast as any Ditgen’s have. We didn’t push past the people going down the escalator (time waster #3) and JUST missed the train. But the time was just 10:15… so really, they just started boarding at 10:10 (the standard 25 min before for them).

We raced up the escalators to see our gate and it was … deserted. There was no one around. The door was shut. It was still 10 min prior to take-off, and the plane was outside getting ready to depart. Seriously!?!?!?! We debated on what to do… it was 4 hours until the next flight. We figured we’d at least head back to the main terminal, and on the way, we checked how full that next flight was…there were zero seats available. Karissa suggested, hey, we could just drive. It’s only like 4 hours…and we’d make it up there before the next flight even departed. Ok, let’s do that. Then we won’t have to cab it or anything. Yeah! This sounds like a decent idea!

So we called back the hotel shuttle, got in the car, set up the ipod, searched the directions and off we went! Road trip! Cool huh? It was a beautiful day, and we’d see places we’d never been before. Around noon, I was like, hey, we should check what time the ferry is to know if we needed to hurry or dilly-dally. And the futile search began…lesson #4 there is only one ferry (the Victoria Clipper) that goes to Victoria in the beginning of February. We somehow found the “magical” weekend from Port Angeles, where the Washington state ferries were out for 10 days on dry-dock and the private ferry didn’t begin service until May.

Ok, well, there’s still another option - Anacortes! Maybe we can just head there; it’s not super far… We had gotten all the way to Poulsbo at this point, and while trying to find a place to pull over to figure out directions, we saw a fish park – cool we’re road tripping, photo shoot!

We then turned into McyDs to get a soda and some fries (we still had a couple hour drive ahead of us, we needed sustenance – and just wanted to say, one of us got 1 fry, while the other had the rest… ). Bad news - the ferry from Anacortes didn’t start until May either!!! WTF?!?!? How do people get off that island in the winter? Well, we weren’t about to drive to up to Vancouver and over…. Sooooo I guess we’ll take a look at the flight?

Ok, there were 2 seats available… and we were getting up there! We had an uncancellable hotel, so I did what I figured was the best option given our luck – and used my “precious” positive space passes (I mean, really, the whole thing was my bad) – and finally, we had confirmed seats to Victoria :). It was a little after noon at this point, and we were back our way to Seatac. Karissa decided to be a little more proactive and check in online… and no go. Ok, let’s call reservations and have them check us in over the phone! Ummm, they told us we had to do so at the airport and a supervisor would be needed. At this point, we’re feeling the time crunch…we knew we needed to be at the airport at least 1 hr in advance to check in…and it was getting late.

I have never purposely sped so much in my life. Our giggles over the ridiculous-ness of this situation started to subside and the realization that we could not make it started to sink in (oh and we both started to have to use the bathroom, as we’d both had coffee and hadn’t stopped at the airport). Drive Meredith like you’ve never driven before! Our plan was set, we’d go to the departures, I’d jump out and go start the check in process while K parked the car in the airport garage – making it was more important than the cost at this point.

Yikes! The Customer Service line was long…I think, maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to use the kiosk. And thank the Lord… It worked (it was rather odd though, it’s like it remembered us because, well we were supposed to be on that 1^st flight and it didn’t require our passports to be scanned). With both boarding passports in hand, all I had to do was wait for Karissa to come back. We met up, made it through security, went straight to the gate, and checked in with the gate agent (who lectured us on not being there before – trust me, WE WANTED TO BE!).

After 4 hours of unnecessary stress and hilarity, we were finally on the aircraft headed to Victoria. And we were not in any danger of missing the concert. The weekend would go on. All I have to say, 1) is even when you fly often, don’t forget to double check anything, and 2) you learn a lot about a person’s character through stressful situations. And I have to say, my cousin has to be one of the best people I know.

NY Resolution: Month 1

2010-02-02T12:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I have successfully held to my New Years Resolution for January.

I am 3 weeks through my 5 week dance classes (in case you feel so inclined, here's what I've taken - Lindy Hop and the Blues). As I finish up these classes, I think the goal will be to keep dancing! (and by the way, I went last night to the Haiti fundraiser dance after class, it was a hoppin' joint! As I was leaving I noticed how loud the live band was and how I'm sure the neighbors probably didn't appreciate the music as much as we did inside ;-), I tried to find a website for the band, as they were fantastic, but I was unsuccessful - either way they are the Careless Lovers).

And while I have to say, I've been good about tracking my budget... not so sure it's working as well as I had intended. I guess that just goes to show me, just since I have a budget, it doesn't mean my finances will improve. Take for instance my Food budget. This was a relatively hard one to set up! I mean, there are multiple categories - groceries, fast food, restaurants and the oh-so-evil alcohol & bars. How much is reasonable for 1 person to spend on groceries in a month? When do I start saying no to hanging out with friends to stick to the budget or how do I determine what is logical in the first place?! Hmmmm, which led me to wonder.

What is the balance between going out with friends and being a homebody?

My determination is that being single is ridiculously expensive (and extremely painful to my liver... I think my life is kinda like Man vs Wild, except its Natalie vs Liver).

Over the past month, I've spent as much on food and booze as I have in rent. Yikes! (Just think how many pairs of shoes that could have been....) I thought December was bad due to the holidays, and this month would for sure get better...but I guess not. I rationalize that I will never make friends or meet people in Seattle if I stay home. And even if I attempt to save money by having friends over, I'm never going to meet the man of my dreams in my apartment (unless Edward magically jumps out of my books (wait I think I just referenced Twilight and Harry Potter in the same sentence, awesome, I'm a teen freak), or I could start a fire to get the fire department there...but I'm kinda guessing either of those scenarios will happen anytime soon).

I also have friends in Seattle who aren't part of the same groups, so in order to stay in contact with all of them it necessitates going out with all of them separately...(note that in the list below, I haven't had happy hour with coworkers or hung out with Jeanne at all!)

For example, let's review the past few days:
Friday - Date (I'll recap later) - shared a bottle of wine, few drinks - relatively cheap for me, still bad for liver.
Natalie 1, Liver 0
Saturday - Monica's 30th Bday bash w/ Karissa and Lynsey - started out drinking at Lynsey's, moved to Kell's to finish the night off by buying more drinks...hey! some were for others
Natalie 1, Liver 0
Sunday - Met up with Sara for a business meeting...and a couple of beers
Natalie 1, Liver 0
Monday - Dancing - no drinks
Natalie 0, Liver 1
Tuesday - Drinks with Jackie
Natalie 1, Liver 0

Now, I'd say this is pretty common, except, I usually end up paying for alcohol on Friday nights as well, and have spent more than a couple Sundays glued to football at my local sports bars (Buckley's and Spitfire). I know bartenders by name at both of these, as well as Zig Zag and the Local Vine. Me, a regular?! Whaaaa?!

I tried thinking back to when I lived in P-town, and I remember spending lots of girls nights at Hillary's, with the occasional dinners at BWW, a few concerts or work outings (with Uncle D covering a lot of tabs... shhh!). But don't think my spending was that extravagant. And I think this was mostly because I had a boyfriend, or at least the majority of my girls did...

Which brings me to my conclusion... I spend way too much on alcohol & eating out - trust me the restaurant expense was just as much. I know, it's a huge revelation, but it's true. Now... on to figuring out ways to stop it! Because, while my resolution was to keep a budget, I think I should make it to stick to one instead... :)

So when I'm old, I'll remember all the cool bands I saw...

2010-01-28T14:02:00.000-08:00

I've said to myself for awhile now, that I really need to write down all the concerts I've been to, because the list has gotten pretty extensive and I want to document all the bands I've seen.

And because I like things to be organized... I'll start at the beginning (and yes some of these I am embarrassed to admit to):

First Concert: The Newsboys, Geoff Moore and the Distance, PlankEye - Memorial Colesium, PDX - 1996 (with Lisa and ...)
Point of Grace and 4Him - Memorial Colesium, PDX Apr 1996 (with the church youth group)
Carmen - Rose Garden, PDX May 1997 (with the church youth group)
Switchfoot, Newsboys, Michael W. Smith, and many more... Jesus Northwest, Aug 1997 (with the church youth group)
Amy Grant - Rose Garden, PDX, Dec 2000 (Taylor and ?)
Caedmon's Call - Bauman Auditorium, GFU, Newberg, Nov? 2003 (Activities Committee)
Pivitplex and The Rock'n'Roll Worship Circus - Bauman Auditorium, GFU, Newberg, Feb 2004 (I had strongly blocked this one from my memory, took some searching to remember those names) (Activities Committee)
David Crowder Band - Bauman Auditorium, GFU, Newberg, Apr 2004 (Activities Committee)
Pivitplex - Redding, CA, May 2004 (Jen)
Shawn McDonald and Pivitplex - July 2004 (Amber and Jen)
First Concert by Myself: Jonah 33 - Our Place, Hillsboro, OR, 2004
Violent Femmes - Bite of Oregon, PDX, Aug 2005 (Johnny)
First Grown Up Concert: Death Cab for Cutie and Franz Ferdinand - Memorial Colesium, PDX, Mar 2006 (Karissa, Hillary and Haley)
Smelliest Concert: She Wants Revenge - Berbati's Pan, PDX, 2006 (Kate)
Damien Rice - Roseland, PDX, May 2006 (Charles and Jardon)
She Wants Revenge - Roseland Theater, PDX, June 2006 (Sara and Alia)
Panic! at the Disco - Portland Expo Center, PDX, July 2006 (Hillary, Haley, and Sara)
Anna Nalick - Bite of Oregon, PDX, Aug 2006 (Kim)
Rocky Votolato - Bumbershoot, SEA, Sept 2006 (Brandon)
Zero 7 - Bumbershoot, SEA, Sept 2006 (Brandon)
Best.Show.Ever.: The Killers and immigrant - Roseland, PDX, Oct 2006 (Hillary, Cheri, Haley, Jay, Sara, and Brit)
The Decemberists - Crystal Ballroom, PDX, Oct 2006 (Kate)
Eric John Kaiser and Tahiti80 - Doug Fir, PDX, Nov 2006 (Hillary, Cheri, Kim and Nancy)
The Fray - Memorial Coliseum, PDX, Nov 2006 (Hillary, Cheri, Rhoda)
Panic! at the Disco - Memorial Coliseum, PDX, Dec 2006 (Hillary and Alia)
Augustana and Vega4 - Wonder Ballroom, PDX, Jan 2007 (Ryan)
Ok Go! and Snow Patrol - Memorial Coliseum, PDX, Feb 2007 (Hillary and Cheri)
The Shins - Crystal Ballroom, PDX, Mar 2007 (Kate)
Longest Wait for Headlining Band: Bloc Party - Crystal Ballroom, PDX, Mar 2007 (Hillary)
Lexy Dale - PDX, 2007 (Hillary, Alia, Jay)
Modest Mouse - McMenamins Edgefield, Troutdale, OR, Aug 2007 (Kate)
Rocky Votolato - Showbox at the Market, SEA, Oct 2007 (Morgan)
Feist - Schnitzer Concert Hall, PDX, Nov 2007 (Hillary, Cheri)
Cold War Kids- Crystal Ballroom, PDX, Nov 2007 (Hillary)
Califone and Iron and Wine - Crystal Ballroom, PDX, Dec 2007 (Hillary, Danny, Morgan and Morgan)
Editors - Roseland, PDX, Feb 2008 (Hillary and Cheri)
Muse - Key Arena, SEA, Sept 2008 (Morgan, Morgan and Jill)
Sigur Ros - Benaroya Hall, SEA, Oct 2008 (Morgan, Morgan and Jill)
O.A.R. - Paramount, SEA, Jan 2009 (Alia, Nate and Morgan)
Rocky Votolato - House Show, SEA, Aug 2009 (me :))
Dave Matthews - The Gorge, George, WA, Sept 2009 (Lynsey)
Recently Off the Bucket List: Weezer and Blink182 - White River Amphitheater, Endfest, SEA, Sept 2009 (Jay, Brit, Elliot)
Furthest Traveled: Damien Rice - Sigur Ros' recording studio, Iceland, Nov 2009 (me)
Wolfmother, BestBuy, SEA, Nov 2009 (Karissa)
Raphael Saadiq - Showbox at the Market, SEA, Nov 2009 (Karissa)
The Sounds - Hawthorne Theater, PDX, Nov 2009 (Hillary)
Phoenix - Showbox SoDo, Seattle, Jan 2010 (Karissa)

Upcoming: Jack's Mannequin, Rocky Votolato, Presidents of the United States of America, Tegan & Sara (FINALLY!!), and U2

Still on my Bucket List: Coldplay, The Bravery, Kings of Leon, Damien Rice (again and again), Cake, Spoon, Paramore, Metric, oh I'm a concert whore... I'll go to any of them :-)

Cuttin' a Rug

2010-01-13T12:24:00.000-08:00

Why on earth do I ever stop dancing? I danced for 3 hours Monday night! My 1 hour LindyHop lesson rolled into the 1 hr Intermediate Balboa lesson, which ended with the social dance at the end. Needless to say I was tired when I headed home, but man, what a rush! I forgot what a high I get when I dance - its like a drug (minus all those horrible side effects, and an episode of Intervention ;-)). And to top it all off, I think that it counts as a workout, right? If sweating is a sign of burning calories, I probably burned thousands ;-) I mean, as gross as it sounds, I was covered in sweat - all my clothes will need to be washed... hmm you think I can wear my gym clothes next time? ;-)

While this may be this year's resolution, this is probably the umpteenth time I've started dancing. I think I go through seasonal phases and then just stop going... maybe its because summer seems too hot (not to mention I've never been to a dance studio that has a/c - and seeing as all the windows were open at Sonny Newman's Monday night, and it was still hot in there... I can only imagine what it was like when Seattle was hitting the triple digits last summer!!). Because of my sporadic dancing history, I also never know how to answer the "how long have you been dancing" or "what other types of dance do you do/know". My dancing history is depicted below:

My other dancing quirk is that I never take anyone with me. I dunno why, I love doing it, you'd think I would want to share it. I've invited people before, but I feel like I have to play host. Monday night, I think I only sat out one song to use the bathroom... that was it! So if I bring a friend who doesn't know how to dance... how fun will it be for them?

Since starting up dancing again, I guess I'm going to start throwing myself at it full force...one of my dance partners mentioned a blues class this Thursday... I'm a sucker for the blues... so 2 nights a week of dancing here I come! And to conclude, I was thinking the other night over why I like dancing so much, so here's the...

Top 10 Reasons Natalie Goes Dancing

10) It's enjoyable to watch people dance

9) The inevitable stories and blogs that will come out of it

8) The great side benefit of an aerobic workout

7) I get to use both my right and left brain

6) Meeting new people

5) When people ask me what I like to do, I can actually tell them an active/ interactive hobby (I mean, how lame do I sound when I say "tv"?:))

4) It's fun to watch the diverse dance crowd that shows up (the pretty boys who only come to the lesson w/ their girlfriends, the girls wearing impractical heels, the sweaty guys - who change shirts multiple times, the old men who've danced for years, the shy guys - who become more confident, and of course the cool jazz cats)

3) I'm actually decent at it (since it requires no hand-eye coordination). It's a more balance oriented activity, and I've always been good at balancing - I mean, you don't see me just falling over for no reason, do you?

2) I get to be my hummingbird-self, and there it seems normal (I get to be around a crowd, can move from person to person, never have to sit and get out all the pent up desk sitting-boringness!)

And the # 1 reason... (drum roll please)...

1) It makes me feel good and gives me a confidence boost

So my friends, if you're willing to jump in with both feet, feel free to come join me!

New Shoes!

2010-01-08T16:54:00.000-08:00

There's rarely a better way to start a Friday than with new shoes on. What is it about our shoes that gives us confidence? We, as women particularly, place a lot of importance on footwear. A shoe can either make or break an outfit, or just add to the overall "blah" factor.

I finally "invested" (and I say that lightly, as $25 is barely an investment) in some booties - purple booties to be exact. When booties first came out, I thought they were horrid (much how I didn't like flats)... but they've grown on me. I mean, really, it's kinda easier... no shoving my full calf into a boot or trying to find the right pants to shove into them (or the right socks, because heaven forbid you wear the tight calf boot and have to peel it off)... cuz well, they just stop at your ankle! (and I have to think that if you happen to be struck with cankles... err I mean fat...think of how hidden they would be in a pair of booties!)

I received these purple wonders in the mail on Monday and immediately began pairing them with all sorts of things - though, I ran into a little hitch, since I don't have a full length mirror anymore (*sigh* a memory of another thing I was "forced" to give up when moving...my ex was a minimalist...and since he was helping me move some of that minimalist attitude got projected towards my stuff. I should have fought harder!). So there I am, home alone, climbing atop my bathroom counter to try to gain some perspective on the outfits, while trying to avoid running my head into the vanity lights. Trust me, with all the crap on my counter, I could have easily slipped, fallen and been left for dead, thank goodness I don't have a cat that would eat me (see SATC).

Well, this Friday I decided to debut the new shoes w/ my "jaggings" (I adore my grey jeans/leggings), a white tank and my blazer (sleeves rolled up) - and yes, I've been reading a LOT of Glamour lately...(I was super behind). And the 2nd thing the receptionist said to me (after saying, "oh it's just you"), was let me see those boots, and that coat! So I walked (runway style - circa Cheri freshman year of college) back to them. Showed off my little booties and my adorable Guess coat (see picture at left). What a way to start a Friday, getting compliments on a new outfit!
And now, that you're all chomping at the bit... the shoes! (And yes, they are comfortable)

New Decade = Hope, right?

2010-01-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

2010 arrived with, well, let's just say, some people are glad they get to write off the New Year's Eve choices as "bad '09" ones, rather than carrying them into the new year. But it definitely came in with a bang and a big sigh of relief. The last decade is FINALLY over. It was an interesting one, and probably the first decade I really have full recollection of in my 27 years (I graduated high school in 2001, college in 2005, started my career at Deloitte the same year, bought and sold a house (2006 and 2008, respectively), and "landed" with my feet in the air at Alaska).

I mean, 10 years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed I'd ever want to "write a blog" to "share my feelings" with the world, let alone post "status updates" multiple times a week. But here I am, doing just that! (and most know from my fb addiction that sometimes, multiple times daily is more accurate - sorry for the SOX reference
;-))

I've made my resolutions - and stayed far away from the typical "lose weight/ eat healthier", I figure those are always on my mind. My real "goals" are to take dance lessons and keep a budget. So far so good, but we're only 6 days in.

Really, so far in this decade, all I have felt is cynicism... Sunday evening I watched "Under the Tuscan Sun", a movie I absolutely love!! It gives me such warm, happy feelings, it just feels so real...that is to say, until the end when it all wraps up like a Christmas present. Now, I wouldn't feel so skeptical of it, if it just ended when Francis finds she has everything she wished for, just not in the way she imagined, that seems right, pleasing, normal even. It reminds me that usually what we want may be right in front of our eyes, but we don't see it because it may not be in the way we imagined it. That is real life.

Instead, the movie finishes up, with this gorgeous man entering the picture,it all becomes uber-romantic and fairy-tale like...and it angers me. Couldn't her life have been just as happy and fulfilling when she realized she had everything she'd wished for? Not to mention, romance like that just doesn't exist. No man is backpacking around in search of me. And if they were, I might call them crazy! But it really made me think... do I even believe in romance?

The conclusion I came to was, no, I don't. Oh it may seem that way at the beginning of the relationship, the "wooing" period, but after that it's just forced shows of affection to placate us girls (a date here, flowers there, doing the dishes... but never of its own accord, we tend to have to whine and b*tch a bunch first, maybe even cry that we don't know if our man really loves us or not because he never shows us). I don't believe that there is someone out there looking for me, and the whole "true love" concept? Well, I one time thought I found that person, the "one"... but that fairy tale ended and maybe I've used up that one? The romance certainly went the way of the dinosaurs.

Or maybe, I'm just feeling lonely. Almost all my close girlfriends are in serious relationships, and here I am, in Seattle, fighting to even make friends, let alone find a guy who actually tries to see me (more than the "hey what's up" texts... ;-)). Maybe that should be my resolution, just accepting that I'm single and move past caring to find that certain someone? Learning to be happy being just me. At least at any rate, I'll know how to dance and be able to afford my own flowers and dinners! No b*tching or moaning needed (plus, I'm even nice and do the dishes for myself without even so much as a "please Natalie!")

On my own again...

2009-12-17T17:21:00.000-08:00

Wow! What a crazy ride this past year has been! (not to mention the craziness that preceded it....) Sometimes, when I think about all the changes, I am overwhelmed. So much has happened, basically, the only major life event's that haven't are marriage and babies (phew! escaped that one on both accounts).

Two-thousand & eight started off relatively smooth, ha, ok, I'm lying, it was crazy. Busy season, studying for the CPA, commuting to Seattle every other weekend, deciding whether it would be Morgan or me moving, living alone in a house that had been broken into 2 times... *shudder*.

And well, once the CPA was done (yipee!!!), and the decision was made for me to move...it just escalated from there! Planning to move, sell the house, find a new job (in Seattle), leave my life & friends & family...

3 jobs, ~4 moves (and a large financial loss in selling the house), ending an almost 2 year relationship (which definitely was harder than a 6-word blurb...), and the death of a grandmother (super hard) later I am still alive and, relatively, sane. I don't cry every time I leave Portland anymore, though I probably could if I thought about it too hard. I really love my little apartment - mostly because it's the complete opposite of owning a house - cheaper, less to maintain, less to clean, someone else fixes your problems, and location location location. My coworkers make me ok to want to stay in the the hardest city to make friends.

I'm definitely looking forward to a fresh start in 2010 (plus all those fabulous friends of mine turning 2010 in 2010!). And hopefully, a little less tumultuous of a year...